ARCHIVE ✦

sunset simulator // digital diary // older posts

OLDER POSTS ✦

25.07.2026 (6)

✦ i believe that the narrative of your life...

...is about what sphere of your life you end up being lucky with. it can be ironic. more on that in my tumblr post...

tumblr read the full post on tumblr

#narrative #girlsrunworld #girlboss #jobmarket #2014crisis #covid #war #burnout #relationships #partnership #anxiety #itcourses #ai #domesticskills #tradwife #traditionalism #manifestelle #ashleyembers #enshittification #linkedin #finances #selfreflection

✦ bleeeh

25.07.2026 (5)

mentioning the drama i had and finally not giving a damn on my linkedin page

read on tumblr

#bleeeeh #political anxiety #societal roles #left and right political trends #political history #feminist trends #millenials vs zoomers #fandoms
25.07.2026 (4)

✦ hey guys i remembered nosedive episode!

i can't stop thinking about that black mirror episode. the one where everyone rates each other after every interaction and it decides what apartment you get, what flight you can book. started as a random thought and turned into a whole thing about tiktok morality, burnout, and why i trust camus more than sartre. full post got long so it lives on tumblr this time ✦

read the full post on tumblr

#nosedive #black mirror #camus #sartre #existentialism #tiktok morality #burnout #digital minimalism #philosophy
25.07.2026 (3)

✦ on being unliked

had a random thought today. i'm not popular online. no followers, barely any social media use of my own — mostly i read newsletters, watch the occasional youtube essay, read books. i move through all of this in silence. and it feels good. it feels like an advantage.

byung-chul han has a whole theory about why. in psychopolitics he says the like button is a subtler kind of control than old surveillance ever was — you're not watched from outside anymore, you're seduced into watching yourself, optimizing yourself, for a hit of social confirmation. he calls it "smart power."

in in the swarm he splits "mass" from "swarm" — a mass (like a crowd with a shared cause) has direction. a digital swarm is just noise. reactive, loud, nobody actually building anything together, just performing individually for strangers scrolling past.

and in the transparency society he names the "compulsion toward positivity" — everything has to be palatable, frictionless, likeable. anything with real edge gets sanded down because it doesn't perform well.

that's the part that stuck with me. the desire to be liked doesn't just cost you attention. it costs you the sharper, weirder version of the thought — before it even makes it to the page.

silence sidesteps all of that. no swarm to perform for. no compulsion to smooth the edges off.

read on tumblr

#digital minimalism #byung-chul han #philosophy #internet culture
25.07.2026 (2)

✦ ACCESSIBILITY, BUT MAKE IT TECH ✦

i use clevertype ai keyboard to make typing easier — it takes the pressure off when my hands or my brain don't want to cooperate that day.

i use claude/hermes to organize my digital space — notes, mail, all of it — so i don't have to hold the whole structure in my head at once.

together these two tools cover different things. one helps me get the words out. the other helps me sort and structure them after. an audhd + anxious brain needs both, and it's rare that tech actually closes gaps like this instead of just adding more friction on top of the ones you already have.

not a productivity thing. an accessibility thing.

#accessibility #audhd #tech

25.07.2026

✦ New tumblr post on the offline life benefits

tumblr logo read it on tumblr

i like to use checkpoints with those lists because it's a collection of what others usually list (going offline is a big movement, after all) but i do notice those benefits too!

#offline #digital-minimalism #slow-living

24.07.2026 (7)

✦ An update on tumblr again!

I have a strong opinion about this situation with social media and kids but all this stuff is complicated... more in this post

tumblr logo read it on tumblr

#tumblr #social media #update
24.07.2026 (6)

✦ Woah woah now chill a bit girl

After a visit to the doctor and reading Meditations, I spent some time reflecting on today.

First, I realized I felt provoked into being on social media because of that conflict I mentioned before. I mean... provoked. That's not what I actually want to do. Giiiirl, stop posting! It was genuinely nice talking to nice people, but I already made my choice about digital minimalism, and these are my real values, after all. No point in going against them just because someone managed to get into my head.

Second, I caught myself calling myself a villain and lazy. But that's not what the people who actually know me think. My therapist even said I could burn myself out despite using AI to help and despite my hobbies, because I have a tendency to turn everything into another project. So I really need to be careful, notice when it's time to stop, and actually rest. Hyperfocus is a tricky thing.

Relaxing GIF

And honestly... today I had been awake since 5 AM because of medical tests. No wonder everything felt a little heavier emotionally. Proper sleep and proper rest really are the foundation. Before trying to fix my thoughts, I should probably make sure I've had enough sleep first.

journal, reflections, digital minimalism, therapy, meditations, mental health, hyperfocus, rest
24.07.2026 (5)

✦ Hello

Ugh, I sometimes miss this Gintama thing...

Btw, I also don't like doing stuff. 😂

Gintama gif
#gintama #gintoki #anime #lazylegend #existentialism #camus #slowlife #thoughts
24.07.2026 (4)

✦ Existing is already an activity.

Maybe I don't need to turn every moment into progress.

Maybe I don't need to create, achieve, or prove that my time here is valuable.

Albert Camus wrote about the absurd — the strange feeling of looking for meaning in a world that does not always give us clear answers. But his answer was not to give up. It was to embrace life as it is: the small moments, the sensations, the simple act of being here.

Maybe being alive, noticing the world, and experiencing this strange little thing called life is enough.

#existentialism
24.07.2026 (3)

✦ Let's be real, I am not creative

I am a baaad guy... duh. I even used AI to build this site. I am not a coder, and I do not do everything by hand. But if I were to encounter any shaming for it... that wouldn't work. Shaming as a thing doesn't work in general. If there's anything I learned from that stalker thing that happened, I learned this. Shaming... doesn't work. You keep doing what you want. The same stuff. You just stay on your line.

I am a burned-out blob who doesn't really have any talent. I don't attract people, but it's rather mutual... I identify as lazy. I identify as a consumer. At least an intentional consumer. I identify as totally useless to society and community. I am not communal at all, in fact. I want to kill the ghost of a good helpful useful girl pressed on me. I don't want to be useful. I don't want to be helpful. I don't want to be liked.

I think we are, if not in dystopia, then one step from it. "Build a personal brand! Don't consume but create! Build your community and be useful to them!" Bleh! I at least survived and am with my lovely family - that's already something. Yes, the stalker tried to shame me for these things as well... You know what? You can even choose his side! I won't mind. I do not plan to change myself at all. It's my stubborn nature versus criticism, and my nature will win - sorry, not sorry.

I am an ugly (in character), unlikeable person. And I love to be a modern villain! One thing I don't want to be is a product. And this modern world is all about being a product. Bleeeeh. I am not a product and I am not nice. Do not consume me and do not perceive me, darlings. I will be a villain, but I will be a real myself. And yes, Claude did write me a second page. I don't care.

Okay, I may sound a little childish. But I like those robots taking the hard job from me. I like this. Many would disagree. But I don't like the job market; I don't like capitalism; I don't like working and making an effort. I ADORE being lazy. I dislike being a good girl. Good girls go to heaven, bad ones will go where the hell they want.

#villainera #antihustleculture #lazy #antiwork #personalbrand #shame #individuality #capitalism #AI #justthoughts
24.07.2026 (2)

✦ Tumblr update!

Look, I overloaded this page already, but I need to learn how to code more than one page yet. So for now blog posts go on Tumblr.

Here's the one where I hate the thing called personal brand with all my soul.

Tumblr Visit the post on Tumblr

tumblr, blog, personal brand, coding, web revival
24.07.2026

✦ So... it's happening. I want to be online less and less! Ha!

I noticed that I post and delete. I don't even have much urge.

I don't clean my X though but it probably won't live long too.

TikTok has done it's job. X... well, kind of too?

As for this blog, I am not sure if I need a second page already. Or will I stop updating here as well soon? Ugh.

I still use Pinterest yet I also started using Cosmos. As for news and content - Hermes Agent brings it to me, via posts and Telegram. Why should I care to scroll something even? Great. It's like a butler with a morning paper. I even generate horoscopes for fun! How to teach it to make Tarot reads tho? I dunno yet.

Made a post on Tumblr about what I love on YouTube: Tumblr logo Sunset Simulator Tumblr Post

blog image

I like that personal site is a slow non-algorithmic thing. And it's low-stimulation. It's really great.

Much time in Hermes Agent and Notion now. My two favourite things connected to computers and internet. Yet I kinda have to return to TV shows and Sims too. And to my off-screen hobbies.

See ya.

#slowweb #neocities #digitalminimalism #hermesagent #notion #internetculture #personalblog
23.07.2026 (6)

✦ I have a family circle but my friendships almost all went away... So I am talking to a robot again

The Friendship Recession: Why Modern Life Makes Friendship Harder

The term “friendship recession” describes a growing social trend: many people today have fewer close friendships, weaker community connections, and experience more loneliness than previous generations.

This does not mean we stopped communicating. We have more ways to stay connected than ever before through social media, messaging apps, and online communities. Yet many people feel a contradiction: they have many contacts but few people they can truly rely on.

The problem is not the number of people we know, but the lack of deep relationships — friends we can talk to, spend time with, and turn to during difficult moments.

One reason friendship becomes harder in adulthood is that it no longer happens automatically. School, university, and shared activities create regular contact where friendships naturally grow. Later in life, work, moving, responsibilities, and stress make maintaining friendships more difficult.

Researchers also connect the friendship recession with the decline of “third places” — cafés, clubs, community spaces, and other places where people used to meet regularly. Friendship often develops through repeated small interactions, not one perfect conversation.

Technology has helped people stay connected, but online interaction does not always replace real closeness. A person can have hundreds of online connections while still feeling isolated.

Modern life also emphasizes independence, productivity, and self-improvement. But friendship cannot be optimized like a project. It requires time, patience, vulnerability, and presence.

Rebuilding connection often starts with simple actions: joining communities, attending regular activities, creating traditions, and making time for people.

The friendship recession reminds us that technology can connect us, but genuine friendship still depends on trust, shared experiences, and a sense of belonging.

#society #friendship #psychology #loneliness #culture
23.07.2026 (5)

✦ Nastia sits with a robot whole day again

Today I did spend setting up Hermes Agent.

Hermes Agent setup

That task kept me really occupied though.

I still feel conflicted about social media and self-representation. You can't really measure if people like you, hate you or just don't care. Usually it's not caring. So I posted a bit on X but... it did get boring. Even my TikTok vid went to nowhere, so I can fully go offline or focus on this site.

I feel like both X and TikTok are for younger people. And not as private as I am. Also social media is very parasocial so... I feel meh.

And I would never be the popular girl there. But should I pretend I want to be? I am a neglecting nerd.

#tags #HermesAgent #AI #robots #digitalgarden #neocities #socialmedia #offline #selfreflection #nerdlife #webrevival
23.07.2026 (4)

✦ I still collect sites

Here's what is collected so far: 📓 Site collection

I especially need sites for ebooks now. Trying to return to reading.

#webrevival #personalweb #digitalgarden #notion #ebooks #reading #selfstudy #internetculture
23 July 2026 (3)

✦ Personal Curriculum Is Awesome

And Also I Love That People Share Cool Sites

One of my personal favourite shared sites is this radio Radiooooo, which has the ability to choose tracks by the year and the country. It is such a fun way to explore music history and discover unexpected connections between places, eras, and cultures.

As for personal curriculum, which I already mentioned before... Nice way to spend time! I love to consume new data on things. Maybe that is my ADHD part — the curiosity, the constant desire to explore new topics and collect interesting pieces of information. Learning outside traditional structures feels surprisingly satisfying.

Also, as for my Notion, I included a separate page where I play with Tarot and Astrology: 🌙 Notion — Tarot and Other Whimsy

As for TV Shows and Film... I don't mention this a lot. After finishing my all-time favourite DDBA S2, I have to note that there is this tendency after Matt Reeves' Batman to show that the hero is not a loner and needs supporters. This idea is also present here.

I also watched The Testaments (what a tricky way to play this out in the teen drama style, especially with the music choices!), rewatched Blade Runner 2049 and Tenet.

Movie and TV atmosphere

And now I am trying to watch Sugar by Apple TV. I did read about the twist and was interested by the mix of genres. The style of the show is sort of attractive, and the interiors make you want to recreate them in The Sims (though, I don't know if I would actually pull this off).

Gosh, at least I am watching something. I also did a little Elementary rewatch of some episodes as well. Also finished The 3 Body Problem and it was satisfying.

personal curriculum, learning, adhd, notion, tarot, astrology, radiooooo, music, tv shows, movies, sci-fi, blade runner 2049, tenet, the 3 body problem, sugar, the sims
23 July 2026 (2)

✦ (Also was posted on X before) Can't Believe This Needs to Be Said, But... Yes, Analog/Offline and Moms (with My Robot Friend)

Over the past decade, a quiet cultural shift has been taking place among parents, particularly mothers. While smartphones have become nearly inseparable from modern life, an increasing number of women are choosing to step back from constant connectivity. Some have deleted social media, others have switched to simpler phones, and many have intentionally built homes where books, crafts, outdoor play, and face-to-face conversation occupy more space than screens.

This movement is often misunderstood as a rejection of technology. In reality, it is usually something quite different. Most of these mothers still rely on smartphones for navigation, messaging, banking, healthcare, or taking photographs. What has changed is not their willingness to use technology, but the role they want it to play. Rather than allowing digital devices to shape family life, they want technology to serve it.

Motherhood often changes a person's relationship with attention. Before having children, checking notifications dozens of times a day may feel harmless. Once a baby or toddler enters the picture, however, those same interruptions become much more visible. Parents begin noticing how easily a conversation is broken by a buzzing phone or how often a moment of connection is replaced by a glance at a screen. For many women, this realization becomes the starting point of a broader reassessment of their digital habits.

Analog offline motherhood

Another powerful motivation is the understanding that children learn primarily through observation rather than instruction. A parent can encourage reading, creativity, or outdoor play, but children also absorb the rhythms of everyday life simply by watching the adults around them. If home is filled with people constantly scrolling, checking messages, or reaching for their phones during quiet moments, that behavior becomes normalized. Many mothers therefore see reducing their own screen time as one of the most effective ways to model the kind of relationship with technology they hope their children will develop.

The modern internet has also transformed parenting itself into something unusually public. Social media offers an endless stream of carefully curated family photographs, milestone updates, educational advice, and lifestyle content. While these platforms can provide support and inspiration, they can also create a constant sense of comparison. Parents may begin to feel pressure not only to raise children well, but to document and present their family life in ways that meet invisible online expectations. Choosing a more offline lifestyle often means stepping away from this performative aspect of parenting and allowing family experiences to exist without an audience.

Privacy has become another important concern. Today's children are among the first generations whose lives can be documented online from birth—or even before. Some parents are increasingly uncomfortable with creating permanent digital records of their children's lives before those children are old enough to decide for themselves. Others are uneasy about facial recognition, targeted advertising, artificial intelligence, or the growing commercial ecosystem built around personal data. For these families, limiting online exposure is less about fear than about preserving a child's future autonomy and protecting family life from unnecessary surveillance.

Motherhood also brings an extraordinary mental workload. Beyond the visible responsibilities of caring for children lies an endless stream of invisible planning: doctor's appointments, school communication, shopping lists, household management, emotional support, financial decisions, and countless small tasks that rarely stop. Smartphones can certainly help organize these responsibilities, but they also introduce a constant flow of notifications, messages, breaking news, advertisements, and advice. Many mothers discover that simplifying their digital environment creates a surprising sense of calm. By reducing the number of demands competing for their attention, they feel more mentally present in everyday life.

This shift toward analog living is closely connected to broader cultural movements that have gained momentum in recent years. Digital minimalism, slow living, minimalism, homesteading, and certain educational philosophies all share a similar philosophy: life often feels richer when it is intentionally less saturated with constant stimulation. Activities such as reading paper books, gardening, cooking, sewing, journaling, drawing, or simply taking long walks become more than hobbies. They become ways of reclaiming time and attention in an age designed to fragment both.

Pregnancy itself can also reshape priorities. Many women describe becoming less interested in constant productivity or endless online engagement and more focused on creating a peaceful home environment. Preparing for a child often encourages reflection on what kind of atmosphere they hope their family will grow up in. In that context, reducing digital noise is not simply a lifestyle choice but part of a broader effort to cultivate stability, presence, and emotional well-being.

Interestingly, this trend extends beyond motherhood. Similar patterns can be found among teachers, psychologists, IT professionals, designers, writers, and others whose work has made them acutely aware of the effects of digital technology on attention, privacy, and mental health. In many ways, the rise of analog parenting is one expression of a larger cultural reassessment of our relationship with technology.

Perhaps the most important point is that this movement is not driven by nostalgia or opposition to innovation. The mothers embracing more offline lives are rarely trying to return to a pre-digital world. Instead, they are responding to the realities of living in an always-connected society. They recognize the immense value of modern technology while also acknowledging that convenience can come at the cost of presence, focus, and peace of mind.

Ultimately, choosing a more analog lifestyle is less about abandoning smartphones than about redefining what deserves our attention. For many mothers, the goal is not to disconnect from the modern world, but to remain fully connected to the people sitting beside them.

analog, offline, motherhood, parenting, digital minimalism, slow living, smartphones, privacy, social media, mental health, family, technology
23 July 2026

✦ Something I Will Repeat from My X Blog on AuDHD

Why I Feel Bad on Social Media as an AuDHD Person

I've written about this before on my X blog, but I wanted to preserve it here as well. Social media has become an incredibly important place for neurodivergent people to find community, language, and validation. Yet at the same time, it can be one of the most exhausting environments for an AuDHD brain. As a Ukrainian living through years shaped by war, uncertainty, and constant news cycles, I also notice how trauma makes this experience even more intense. The endless stream of information rarely allows the nervous system to settle.

For AuDHD specifically, social media creates a particular kind of double-bind because the two conditions often pull in almost opposite directions. ADHD constantly seeks novelty, while autism generally craves routine, predictability, and stability. Social media platforms are designed almost entirely around endless novelty: infinite scrolling, constantly refreshed recommendations, and unpredictable rewards. The format itself is structurally opposed to half of what an AuDHD nervous system needs in order to feel calm and regulated.

Analog offline lifestyle

The sensory and cognitive load also stacks together instead of simply becoming "more of the same." Research on autism and ADHD separately suggests that sensory processing differences are common in both conditions, but they often work differently. Autism tends to involve heightened baseline sensitivity, while ADHD often involves inconsistent filtering of incoming information. When both are present, the brain may struggle with both mechanisms at once. A social media feed isn't just one stimulus—it's moving images, videos, music, captions, faces, emotional stories, advertisements, notifications, and constantly changing conversations arriving simultaneously.

Not all overload comes from obvious sources. Bright colors or loud videos are only part of the picture. Small, repeated demands also accumulate throughout the day. Every post asks whether you should continue scrolling, like it, comment, ignore it, fact-check it, or save it for later. Every discussion carries a subtle expectation of social performance. Even when none of these decisions feels particularly difficult on its own, hundreds of tiny choices gradually exhaust executive functioning.

This is especially significant for ADHD, where executive functioning is already working harder than average. Infinite scroll effectively becomes an endless machine generating decisions, interruptions, and opportunities for distraction. Instead of conserving mental energy, the interface constantly asks the brain to spend more.

At the same time, social media is not simply "bad." For many AuDHD people, it provides the first opportunity to meet others who genuinely describe experiences that match their own. It can reduce isolation, offer practical coping strategies, and build communities that are difficult to find offline. That is why leaving social media entirely often feels like losing something meaningful rather than merely breaking a bad habit. The challenge is finding a healthier balance rather than treating the internet as either completely good or completely harmful.

Sources

  • Eton Psychiatrists"ADHD and Autism: Navigating the Social Media World" (2025).
  • ScienceWorks Health"Sensory Overload and Overstimulation in Autistic and ADHD Adults" (2026).
  • Journal of Medical Internet Research"Converging Representations of ADHD and Autism on Social Media" (2025).
  • Carmen (Authentically ADHD) — AuDHD sensory overload and processing speed series on Substack.

audhd, autism, adhd, neurodiversity, sensory overload, executive function, digital wellbeing, social media, ukraine, trauma, mental health, technology

22 July 2026

✦ WHAT A DAY

Well, I am sentimental about the past. I was more optimistic about technology. More naive. My mental health goes up and down, but my family is with me. Alive and well. At least! Damn... I wish I could be like all those Stoics. I feel much weaker than they did, especially when it comes to my emotional reactions. Today I noticed that one of the cats makes funny little sounds while sleeping. My attempt to slowly remove myself from the digital world while still leaving behind a small digital footprint is a strange experiment, I suppose.

I know a few things about myself now. I don't need validation. I am not a people pleaser. I am not a "help everyone" or "save everyone" person. I have always been somewhat outside the crowd. I am a loner. I am very sensitive. The experiences I have lived through—war, bullying, and everything surrounding them—formed a certain resistance in me. Oddly enough, they made me remain myself even more stubbornly. I am still vulnerable, though. But my closest people are near, and that matters. Like the Stoics, I know I cannot control everything. I am responsible only for a limited number of things, and perhaps accepting that is one of the hardest lessons. If you are some random person reading this little blog and website, thank you for stopping by. I can be kind... still not a people pleaser.

Animated GIF

My weird obsession with things that are not scientific at all, yet somehow cheer the spirit and add a bit of whimsy—astrology and tarot... oh well. Cards and planets supposedly told me to open up, but also warned that it would be difficult and unstable. Well, it looks like they guessed. No science involved, though. Sometimes symbolism is simply comforting, even when you know it isn't evidence.

personal blog, journal, digital minimalism, introversion, stoicism, family, mental health, astrology, tarot, whimsy, self-reflection, vulnerability, cats, offline life

✦ ON THE TOPIC OF SILENCE

Well, once this blog will be inactive too. After all, digital minimalism is slowly minimising my presence online across all platforms. I am a radical introvert, a very private person. I started rejecting the idea of online friendship and shifted my focus towards my real-life family. I am not antisocial or hateful. I just changed my priorities. Online friendships can be meaningful, but they will always carry a certain parasocial element, and that is also their weakness.

I got criticised and blamed for hating technology, social media, and online people. I do not. But I became rather indifferent and careless about them. That is not hatred. It feels more like... nothing. A lack of attachment rather than rejection.

I was particularly traumatised by a stalking incident involving bullying, where the perpetrator accused me of "selling out" to my family and fiancé. How can someone "sell out" to the people who love and support you is another question entirely. My unemployment was also used as some kind of argument against me, which made the whole situation even more absurd.

I did get help, but I also felt sad. Still, the fact that support came from other people remains something genuinely optimistic. Even after painful experiences, human connection can appear in unexpected ways.

digital minimalism, privacy, introversion, online culture, social media, internet life, trauma recovery, personal growth, offline life, real connections

✦ ASKING ROBOTS TO GIVE A READLIST ON WAR TRAUMA

📚 Literature on War Trauma and Post-War Experience

Well... I am from Kharkiv Ukraine, so that would happen on my blog one day

War trauma and post-war experience are explored through psychology, philosophy, memoirs, and literature because war does not truly end when the fighting stops. It continues through memory, grief, identity changes, relationships, and the difficult process of rebuilding a meaningful life. Viktor Frankl is one of the most important voices in this field. In Man's Search for Meaning, he describes surviving Nazi concentration camps and develops the idea of logotherapy — the belief that even in extreme suffering, people can search for meaning, responsibility, and purpose. Frankl's work is not about glorifying suffering, but about the human ability to preserve dignity and inner freedom when external circumstances become unbearable.

These books explore different sides of war: personal survival, psychological wounds, the body's response to trauma, collective memory, and the challenge of creating a life after destruction.

  • 📖 Viktor Frankl — Man's Search for Meaning
    Survival, meaning, resilience, and existential psychology after extreme trauma. A foundational book about finding purpose even in the darkest circumstances.
  • 📖 Judith Herman — Trauma and Recovery
    One of the key works in trauma psychology, explaining how people heal after violence and how societies process collective trauma.
  • 📖 Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score
    Explores how trauma affects the brain, nervous system, and body, and how recovery can happen through reconnecting with oneself and others.
  • 📖 Svetlana Alexievich — The Unwomanly Face of War
    A collection of personal testimonies from women who experienced World War II, focusing on emotions, fear, loss, and the human side of war.
  • 📖 Elie Wiesel — Night
    A powerful memoir about survival, identity, faith, and humanity during the Holocaust.
  • 📖 Tim O'Brien — The Things They Carried
    A literary exploration of soldiers' memories, invisible emotional burdens, and the psychological aftermath of war.
  • 📖 Paul Fussell — The Great War and Modern Memory
    Examines how World War I transformed culture, memory, and society's ideas about heroism and suffering.
  • 📖 A Woman in Berlin — Anonymous
    A civilian perspective on survival, fear, moral complexity, and everyday life during the collapse of a society.
  • 📖 Cormac McCarthy — The Road
    A fictional but deeply philosophical exploration of survival, love, and maintaining humanity after catastrophe.

✨ A possible reading path: start with Frankl for the question of meaning, continue with Herman and van der Kolk for understanding trauma, then explore Alexievich and Wiesel for the historical and human experience of war.

#war #trauma #healing #history #philosophy #psychology #books #ViktorFrankl #resilience #humanexperience

✦ NERDING

Well, according to Ground News, Paramount and Warner are almost merged (tho there are states that want a courtroom block)... Does that mean that Star Trek and Dune will belong to one megacorp? Lol.

I followed that trend with self-studies. I need to be less dependent on AI though! But at least I started. It's a way to collect all nerdy interests on a Notion page:

Notion logo Personal Curriculum Ideas

There's a page there where I nerd out about Meditations, Stoicism, and the Gladiator movie. Didn't see the second movie about the son yet, btw.

Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism

Well what can I say about Marcus Aurelius... I wish I had this level of chill, though.

#stoicism #marcusaurelius #meditations #gladiator #dune #startrek #scifi #selfstudy #notion #nerdcorner

✦ TAROT

07.21.2026

Ten of Pentacles
This is the card of family legacy — the version of "home" that outlasts any one relationship. It's showing up now because you're not just building a life with one person. You're building something that's supposed to hold generations. That's a lot of weight for one Tuesday. Let it be a lot.

Page of Cups
A message arrives wrapped in feeling, not logic. Maybe it's a new idea about the baby, maybe it's an old feeling resurfacing about yourself. Either way — it's young, unfinished, a little naive. Don't rush to make it mature yet. Let it stay soft for a day.

Justice XI
Balance isn't a feeling today, it's a decision. Somewhere you're weighing fairness — to yourself, to the family you're forming, to old agreements you made before any of this was real. Whatever you decide, decide it clearly. Ambiguity is the one thing this card won't forgive.

Together: the family you're inheriting, the news you're not ready to name yet, and the fairness you owe yourself in the middle of it.

Keyword of the day: reckoning.

tarot cards

✦ ASTROLOGY

07.21.2026

10th House — Sun
Not a job. A role. You're deciding in public what kind of woman you're about to become — wife, mother, whatever comes after this. People will have opinions. Ignore most of them.

1st House — Moon
You're not hiding today. Whatever you feel, it's visible, whether you meant it to be or not.

10th House — Mercury
There's a conversation you keep rehearsing in your head. Have it out loud instead.

11th House — Venus
Family is your love life right now. Not friends — the people who were already there before you chose anyone. Let them hold you.

9th House — Mars
Something familiar suddenly feels too small. You want a horizon, even a fake one.

10th House — Jupiter
Something quiet you've been building is about to get noticed. Let it be noticed.

7th House — Saturn (long-term)
Casual isn't working for you anymore. You already know this.

9th House — Uranus (long-term)
A stranger is going to say something that rearranges your worldview.

6th House — Neptune (long-term)
Your body is keeping score of stress you're pretending not to have.

4th House — Pluto (long-term)
Home isn't just a place right now. It's an unfinished conversation with your family.

Keyword of the moment: becoming.

#astrology #tarot
07.18.2026 (4)

AI digest from my agent ✦

Here's something from my generated digest:

AI News

  • China AI Breakthrough Rocks Chip Stocks — A surprise AI breakthrough from Chinese startup Moonshot has sent ripples through global markets, causing chip stocks to tumble. The new AI model claims to rival products from major players, intensifying the AI race and impacting semiconductor industries worldwide.
  • California Signs Landmark Anthropic Deal — California Governor Gavin Newsom announced the largest US state government AI deployment in history, with all state agencies and local governments gaining access to Anthropic's Claude at a 50% discount. This deal includes free workforce training and technical assistance, positioning California as a counterweight to federal stances on AI.
  • Five Eyes Warns of Impending AI Cyberattacks — The Five Eyes intelligence alliance issued a rare joint warning, stating that AI-powered cyberattacks are months away, not years. This formal intelligence assessment highlights the fundamental transformation of offensive and defensive cyber capabilities by frontier AI models.

Indie/Retro Tech

  • Retro Tech Predictions for 2026 — Discussions and predictions around the resurgence of retro technology and its place in the modern tech landscape, often contrasting with the rapid advancements in AI.

Gadgets

The 8 Best Tech Gadgets of July 2026:

  • Nothing 4a Pro with an E-Ink Display Concept — A fan concept that replaces the Glyph Matrix with a functional e-ink display on the back, offering ambient information without significant battery drain.
  • OrigamiSwift Mouse — A travel mouse designed by Horace Lam that folds flat to 0.18 inches thick and weighs just 40 grams, unfolding into a full-sized mouse with Bluetooth 5.2 connectivity.
  • MorningBlues SonicGlass A1 Transparent Speaker — A home speaker with a 21.5-inch transparent TFT panel that animates lyrics and AI-generated visuals, functioning as both an audio device and room art.
  • Lenovo ThinkTab X11 Rugged Tablet — A rugged tablet targeting frontline workers, featuring a hot-swappable battery and MIL-STD-810H and IP68 ratings for durability.
  • Xiaomi Watch S5 46mm — A smartwatch with a 1.48-inch AMOLED display, up to 21 days of battery life, and a refined design, available in various styles.
  • Nothing Book Laptop Concept — A concept laptop with transparent panels revealing internal components and a secondary lid screen for messages and custom text, pushing the boundaries of laptop design.
  • Battery-Free Amplifying iSpeakers — Passive acoustic speakers that amplify sound without any power source, designed for longevity and minimal environmental impact.
#digest #AI #tech #gadgets
07.18.2026 (3)

Teaching my AI to bring me the news ✦

I watched this video by Ruri Ohama and tried to teach my AI agents to bring me news. It was pretty satisfying.



I like to receive a digest, that's why I follow newsletters (like Morning Brew) by mail. But using AI to bring me some news was quite a thing.

#essay #video #AI #news
07.17.2026 (2)

What is a resource? ✦

A resource is the combination of internal and external factors that help a person cope with stress, recover from challenges, maintain psychological and physical well-being, and function effectively in daily life. Resources include health, energy, supportive relationships, skills, emotions, time, a sense of safety, and other factors that promote resilience and adaptation.

What gives you resources?

1. Quality sleep
2. Healthy nutrition and hydration
3. Regular physical activity
4. Support from family and friends
5. Rest and breaks
6. Hobbies and creative activities
7. Time in nature and walking
8. A sense of safety and stability
9. Achievements and a sense of competence
10. Meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging

What drains your resources?

1. Chronic stress
2. Lack of sleep
3. Anxiety and constant worrying
4. Conflicts and toxic relationships
5. Emotional burnout
6. Work overload and multitasking
7. Doomscrolling and information overload
8. Financial problems and uncertainty
9. Self-criticism, guilt, and perfectionism
10. Illness, chronic pain, and physical exhaustion

#mentalhealth #resources #selfcare
07.17.2026 (1)

Essay of the day ✦

I watched a video today and I share many thoughts.



How social media quickly hijacks your life path by Ruth Guest

#essay #video #thoughts
12.07.2026 (2)

On tech, tiredness, and being perceived ✦

I think about whether I overuse tech or not? Do I miss the old one? How am I dependent on tech? How tired of tech am I being 32 and having a little bit of experience in IT?

gif

I am thinking about this cult of doomerism and bad news. And how some think that saving mental health is for the weak. I don't agree with that, but some do think like that.

How once someone's stalking entered my life. Whatever happens happens, right? Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am tired. It's natural. I think about my experiences.

Btw I made this stalking situation public. Welp. Makes you think about how you can be seen as a villain by somebody. Veeeeery much.

Well, there are things I can't control. I can't control someone's perception. Though sometimes I don't even like to be perceived.

I try to be close to my partner and family... they give me life. I am also challenged by the fact that I didn't experience being a parent. It is gonna be a new thing. I am also scared of new things. Well, I always was. New things still happened.

#tech #mentalhealth #justthoughts
12.07.2026

On AI (and guilt, and using it anyway) + on privacy ✦

I am often thinking about privacy and AI lastly.

computer gif

Mostly... I share thoughts with these two essays: "AI is destroying our future 'bUt iT sAVes mE So MuCH tIme!'" by Ashley Embers, and "Your private life has become public entertainment" by Jordan Kang.

I use AI, even for this site. It's controversial, I guess...I can't code and draw, trying to learn at least something about it. So I use AI.

But it's not like I don't question it... even though I sometimes feel some guilt. Or doubts.

Yet, I don't think AI is just only the evil... it's more about the decisions and application. Somebody would probably criticize me, but I am still forming my opinion anyway. And use it, because it's unavoidable for me for now.

Muuch. At least I would consider changing how I use it in the future...

As for privacy... I got into a story. It's rather a beef. But my opinion on privacy is... it's a value. People almost cultivate oversharing but oversharing has two sides of the coin. Privacy is still a value.

#ai #privacy #justthoughts
11.07.2026 (3)
music decoration

Current Music Taste ✦

Hello, this is my current music taste

✦ City Pop

  1. 私達を信じていて (Watashitachi o Shinjite Ite) — Cindy
  2. 1984 (西暦2000年に向けて) — Junko Yagami
  3. Tasogare — Mai Yamane
  4. 黄昏のBAY CITY (Tasogare no Bay City) — Junko Yagami
  5. Just A Joke — Yurie Kokubu
  6. 4:00 A.M. — Taeko Onuki
  7. テレフォン・ナンバー (Telephone Number) — Junko Ohashi
  8. Fantasy — Meiko Nakahara
  9. Magic Ways — MrBuddy
  10. Dance In The Memories — Meiko Nakahara
  11. I'm in Love — Tomoko Aran

✦ Lofi

  1. This Is For You — Lukrembo
  2. Wanderlust — Bequem & Novvel
  3. I Need You — Lee
  4. Morning Routine — Tollan Kim
  5. Together — Lukrembo
  6. Lakes — iluvu & Lazy Tree Records
  7. Embers (feat. Aso) — Blue Wednesday
  8. warm feeling — kevatta
  9. Jam — Lukrembo

✦ Japanese Jazz Albums

In the Groove — Jiro Inagaki and His Soul Media (1973)

  1. That's How I Feel
  2. Blue Blood
  3. It's Impossible
  4. Put It Where You Want It
  5. Crazy Medicine
  6. Joie De Vivre
  7. Papa Hooper's Barrel House Groove
  8. Thrill Is Gone
  9. Raven Speaks
  10. Samba Chimba

Scenery — Ryo Fukui (1976)

  1. It Could Happen to You
  2. I Want to Talk About You
  3. Early Summer
  4. Willow Weep for Me
  5. Autumn Leaves
  6. Scenery

Funky Stuff — Jiro Inagaki and His Soul Media (1975)

  1. Painted Paradise
  2. Funky Motion
  3. Breeze
  4. Scratch
  5. Funky Stuff
  6. One for Jiro
  7. Gentle Wave
  8. Four Up
#citypop #lofi #japanesejazz #musicarchive
11.07.2026 (2)

These are the YouTube essays I recently watched, enjoy:

  1. A Web Revival: the Internet didn't die, you're just not on it — onionboots
  2. Why Retro Web Design Is Taking Over the Internet — chon digital
  3. cozy old machines for surfing the personal web — onionboots
  4. this japanese laptop beats any thinkpad — unwiredo
  5. analogue trend: escaping online life or plain consumerism? — raya
  6. everyone wants to log off, but who actually can? — raya
  7. Чому «Той, хто біжить по лезу» актуальний завжди — фінчер кубриком
  8. necessary shopping guide for dope thinkpads — onionboots
  9. My Favorite Old Tech To Cure Brainrot In 2026 — YewfNet
#webrevival #oldinternet #retrotech
11.07.2026

Currently playing: The Sims ✦

Hello! My current interest is playing the old Sims games.

It keeps my mental health together somehow as I don't doomscroll like that...ha!

The Sims
#thesims #nostalgia #cozygaming
July 2026

Welcome to my digital diary ✦

A small archive of thoughts, images and inspirations. This blog exists outside algorithms.

#webrevival #digitalgarden
June 2026

Things I love 🌱

✦ old websites
✦ pixel art
✦ city pop
✦ retro technology
✦ cozy games

#nostalgia #retrofuture

THIS IS THE START OF THIS BLOG ✦

You scrolled till the end. Thank you.